Walking from the subway station at East 116th Street and Lexington Avenue, we came upon a penny. I picked it up. Into my pocket it went. Two seconds later we saw a praying mantis. Unlike the ones on TV of green color, this praying mantis was white. She came on to my leg. I picked it from my leg and set it on the patch that contained a tree. I could have set it on the flowers that were being sold on the street, but the vendors would not have appreciated my action and they would have killed her outright, and they would have asked, “what the hell are you doing to my flowers – if you’re putting bugs on them, buy them!” And I wasn’t interested in buying. All this happened in 3 minutes, and it took place at East 116th Street and Lexington Avenue. We have wildlife in the ghetto. And a penny. That I kept. The mantis, she’s still trying to camouflage herself in the concrete jungle.

I. What GA and governance mean to me

II. Sharing my book with the wider UU world

III. Outside the Charlotte Convention Center

I: What GA and governance mean to me

I participated in the Unitarian Universalist (UU) General Assembly (GA) in Charlotte, North Carolina, for three days, from Friday to Sunday (June 24-26), but in such a small timeframe, I felt the power of transformation and experienced the promise of our faith. This is my second GA. Prior to going to the 2009 GA at the Salt Lake City, I was innocent. I did not really appreciate what it meant to be a Unitarian Universalist. It was there that I learned that our faith demands our full participation – it reaffirmed that we UUs believe and that our denomination keeps us mindful that we are part of something bigger than just All Souls, NYC. This time in Charlotte, I was reminded by our fellow UU friends that as I am a trustee at one of our congregations, I carry serious responsibility. I am a lay leader. As such, my job for the time being on the board of All Souls is to facilitate the ministry of the laity, but it will not end in 2012 when my term expires, for we Unitarian Universalists (UUs) are about Congregational Polity, so my responsibility is to be shared by all our congregants, board members and ministers.

As our Moderator, Gini Courter, explained, there are 3 basic ways religion is organized:

1) Episcopalian – the clergy is vested with authority for ruling everything. It is a top-down approach, whereby the church-goers receive the religious vision of the clergy.

2) Presbyterian – the clergy select clergy-approved laity and they both make the decision. By clergy-approved laity, we mean that the clergy has selected the laity with which to make decisions.

3) Congregational Polity – “There is no higher up. There is only deeper down.” The religious vision comes from the people. This is the model of Unitarian Universalism and what sets us apart from most of the religious movements around the world.

Gini reminded us who makes the vision of where Unitarian Universalim goes, whether at our churches or as a whole UUA. It is us. The authority does not come from the senior minister, nor from the board, but congregational polity is a right that is shared by all of us who attend our churches.

This becomes a tricky issue when we, congregants, church-goers, forget that we have this responsibility, but we let our leaders decide everything without questioning the reasons for their actions by either not going to the annual or budget meetings or throwing up our arms saying “forget about this church.” We must take ownership, all of us. And, congregants not taking ownership do not excuse the leaders for making unilateral decisions, for they must remember that acting without the consent of the governed is not following congregational polity. The best interests of the church cannot be pushed by one leader without the full participation and support of the congregation. In the ideal, the means cannot justify the ends, specifically if the means alienate the congregants. Don’t misunderstand: it’s not so much about pleasing others as much as it is about including everybody on the discussion table, so that our process affirms our fourth principle: The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large. 

Everybody should read the by-laws at their congregations. Everybody needs to be involved. There is no special privilege. We are not a corporation. We are a church and not one with a Pope or a Salt Lake City passing down the Way. One leader’s voice, however perfect and seemingly valid it may be, is not the accurate representation of our people. We are individuals, but we are in a community. Let us remember we do religion together, not alone. We are all in the Mothership.

We yearn for diversity, but we will never fully achieve it, if do not drop our heady rhetoric and get down and speak religion with our hearts. A great friend told me that the problem with Unitarian Universalism is that it is up in our heads. She is right. Religion, like UUA President Peter Morales said, is about what we give our hearts to. That being the case, let us embrace the concept fully: Don’t knock down God, but don’t let God be the only One, for we are Many. And let us sing and praise That Mystery in all the forms. I wish we had the ‘Teal’ supplemental hymnal at All Souls (smaller congregations, I envy you). The heady rhetoric doesn’t just stop with music – it also means accepting the one different. Do we really believe we accept diversity or do we prefer to have someone who agrees with us? We forget that diversity goes beyond ethnicity. We will not have rich diversity of ethnicity if we cannot accept differences of perspective, style, class or politics.

Even with all the challenges we face as a religion, GA is the event that re-charges my UU-batteries, and I am grateful to take part.

II. Sharing my book with the wider UU world

During GA, the UUA Bookstore sold my book about the architectural history of All Souls, NYC! The head of the bookstore offered a book signing table for me. I was happy to accept. I had a successful day, selling over 50% of my inventory – this helped greatly when it came time to pack our suitcases on our way from Charlotte! It is rewarding to know your book is appreciated and is being read by folks even outside of All Souls! Yay!

III. Outside the Charlotte Convention Center

Being at GA is very time-consuming. It’s a day that starts at 7am with a loaded schedule that ends around 10pm, and after that you have your choice to go partying with your UU buddies at the local bars and restaurants. For any first-timers, my advice is you have to manage your time and be judicious about which workshops you attend because you will not be able to do everything, so you have to pace yourself.

In addition, a trip outside the convention center is most warranted: You gotta see the surroundings, or at least try. One event that invites your participation to engage with the world outside the convention center is the action Public Witness. This time, in Charlotte, our event was the rally Standing on the Side of Love with LGBT People Everywhere! 

We marched from the Convention Center to Marshall Park, on East Third Street. There we joined together to profess our support for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all people, not just for heterosexuals (if happiness can mean marriage, as one quirky reverend reminded me). We were protesting the current state of affairs in North Carolina. The state’s legislature has introduced proposals to ban marriage equality—as well as civil unions or any legal relationship between same-sex couples—and could reach the ballot in November. In addition, we bore witness to members of the UU Church of Kampala, Uganda, who are leading efforts to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people from violence.

We were so full of energy as we gathered and marched on with our gold shirts and banners, Standing on the Side of Love. We made the cover of The Charlotte Observer, as the headline read “Liberal denomination stands up for its causes.” It was a success.

That was on Saturday afternoon (June 25, 2011, a great date for New York).

On our way to Marshal Park, as we marched on East 3rd Street, we passed the NASCAR Hall of Fame. The next day, I went. It was one of the best things I did, while in Charlotte. NASCAR stands for The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing.

The NASCAR story is authentic American. In the olden days of prohibition, alcohol was a hot underground commodity. Did you ever wonder how the Appalachian bootleggers got their moonshine across the United States? Drivers would take their whiskey in small, fast cars. The cars had to be light and fast to outrun the police that were behind their trail. After Prohibition, what else to do with all these fast cars…in American reuse fashion…let’s race them… The story of NASCAR is embedded in the roots of the evolving story of America...

I took plenty of pictures. Here’s the 1939 Ford Coupe as driven by Red Byron - this '39 coupe won NASCAR's first
race on February 15, 1948. It has a flathead V-8 engine. Prewar Fords were
popular with early NASCAR drivers.

The Hall of Fame was impressive. It’s got plenty exhibits that are interactive. It culminates with a simulated drive, which I took part in, and even if I didn’t win, it sure was fun!

To conclude, here are a few photographs:

Celebrating with our All Souls Friends! The dinner & drinks!

Chillin’ inside “Cat” by Niki De Saint Phalle, 1999,
at the plaza in front of the Bechtler Museum of Modern Art

In front of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Wilmington, NC

And I root for the underdog in about any contest…yet, the Pittsburgh Steelers were the authentic and original reason I started following the United States version of the sport titled “football”. You can only appreciate a sport if you understand it. Isn’t that the case with anything under the sun and beyond the stars? American football is a rush and a break. A break and then a rush. It’s got mad action and the stuff of soulful drama. It makes us bold and strong…and humbles us. The main event’s commercials are the best. No doubt about it. Victoria’s Secret, Hyundai, Doritos, Coke, Budweiser and GoDaddy.com have made fabulous contributions. But, let’s get back to the game: Watching a quarterback make a successful throw, the cause of which results in having a receiver complete an immaculate catch at the end-zone is the stuff of what dreams want to become…does it get better than this? Of course, but it feels darn awesome when your team does it!

The New York Jets, who practice in Long Island, and for games share a stadium with another New York team in The Garden State, have come farthest than any other team in American football history, by this amateur writer/spectator’s inexperienced eyes. Beating Eli Manning’s brother one week and the metrosexual Brady the week after, re-deeming themselves and beating the odds – masters of hope, leaving behind the cinders when no-one gave them a chance... I guess it’s too bad last Sunday’s game wasn’t the Super Bowl, but it could have been for the spirit of some. Yes, it was really spectacular.

But it ain’t over, is it? Two more successful games and the New York Jets can bring the Vince Lombardi trophy to Gotham. It’s almost too much to think that far. Especially when you still have another team that wants this victory just as much: The Pittsburgh Steelers. There’s a team with more soul than other teams. I may be biased, but that’s a team that has real heart. Not to say anything lackluster about the Pats or the Colts, but playing the Steelers in Iron City, in a play-off game, is I think, a harder challenge than playing Mr. Brady in New England. I only say it because Pittsburgh is really a football town. Really! Those terrible towels are the stuff of real Terror for anyone who’s not Black and Gold.

New York Jets, you are underdogs and I am with you. It’s a good thing my wife is forgiving, as is her family, who revealed to me the passion of the game. She’s a Pittsburgher, and with many rights to. After all, if it wasn’t for the Steelers, she may not be here. Her parents’ first date was at Three Rivers Stadium. Steeler blood runs really black and gold in Steel Country. It is one of the city’s many prides, perhaps the most stark of all. How/Why do you think the city’s team has won 6 Super Bowls? 

Gang Green has a real uphill battle…but, I am a New Yorker, and darn proud to be so, and I really love it when David defeats Goliath! This is my adopted country and I’m making the best in the Empire State. Can you hear Sinatra and Jay-Z in my voice…and don’t you forget Billy Joel…! Heather accurately said that I am a lover of the local, the present being where my heart is, and my heart is with you, who bring me passion and take my taxes: Gotham.

Make no mistake though: Should the Steelers win, they better win the Super Bowl, as that is the team that introduced me to American Football.

But for now, I’m in a New York state of Mind…

Let’s start from the beginning, for before there was anything that existed of this subject, there was the Word. And the word was Mouse (or Mice, rather accurately). Mice freely came to our apartment in East Harlem, New York City. For folks outside Gotham or urban centers, it may sound shocking. For New Yorkers of humble means: “What else is new, right?!” Vermin are just…vermin. But, Heather and I got really sick of them. We tried traps. They only work so long as you can keep on changing them, and mice reproduce so quickly that it’s a never-ending war. We tried sealing holes. They work but somehow, there’s always a an opening somewhere you can’t figure out. I mean, especially when you have mice who dislocate their bones to go into tight spaces.

I said to Heather, “We need to borrow a cat.”

She said, “What?! Who’s going to let you borrow their cat?!” I said, how about C-, he’s a nice guy who has a cat. We asked C-, a real fine gentleman friend from our church, All Souls. He agreed to do so for a week and would have lent him for more, but we knew to not be gauche. He lent us Rorty, named after a famed theologian (C- got his PhD in Theology, so he knows these things). Rorty was a wonder. He is of large and cuddle size. When I say cuddle I don’t lie; he let himself be picked up and caressed, and he laid with us when we slept, by my legs, in fact. He also enjoyed laying on the thresholds, by door opening corners, having liminal feline meditations. An intellectual is he.

It only took hours for Rorty to find and hunt the mice…and lick them to “death”. Though, I am not a necrophiliac nor have homocidephilia, I was glad to see Rorty on the attack. It was like watching a National Geographic video, but in the live. It was most amazing how these domestic creatures have not lost their hunter instincts. He got rid of our vermin.

I fell in love with the cat’s hunting spirit, but what I had not realized until afterward was that I fell in love with petting Rorty – that was a bonus that made a difference in having his visit.

We gave Rorty back to C-, as the week had passed by.

Months passed, as they do when you take notice. No mice. Didn’t miss them! Yet, we missed something, didn’t we? Yes. No cuddling creature!

Now, I had grown up with animals. I was raised in my grandparents’ farm in El Salvador until I was about 5 years old. Animals were always about me, cows, sheep, horses, roosters, chickens, goats, rabbits, spiders, frogs, ants, dogs…but I never actually slept with one. Yes, it does sound silly, but I never experienced the “petting” needs of an animal or a human. I only came to realize that here, of all places, the concrete jungle of New York, and with a borrowed cat, nonetheless. I guess everything is possible in New York City, after all!

Well, two weeks ago, Heather got an email titled “25 Cats of X-mass”, a promotion from Bideawee, a humane organization that provides shelter, care and compassion to homeless animals. The promotion entitled a prospective adoptive parent the benefits of owning an older cat with no adoption fee and a free year of vet-care. We said, “Well, this is a no-brainer, is it?!”

We went to the Bideawee on East 38th Street, between First Avenue and FDR Drive. So many cute cats to see. The promo was to get older cats into people’s homes. The fact is that most future-cat-owners are looking for kitties. Me being innocent about the process didn’t understand the intricacies of what this meant; I only found out a few weeks ago that 18 years is equivalent to old in cat-age.

So many cute cats (again), we saw. There was Sundance, the playful tiger-cat. K- from Bideawee said that would be a great cat for someone who was looking for a dog as he was huge and loved to be rough-and-tumble, great to play with, but would be a teenager, getting on top of tables knocking your dishes and cutlery, and requiring discipline – it was appealing actually, but the bigger requirement was cuddling for us. There was Twilight, a dark-haired sweetie that enjoyed being the center of attention. Such soft fur had he. There was Diane, who scratched me when I pet her head. I thought, maybe not her. There was Carly, who had these distinctive spots on her face. She was sweet, but shy. We saw Opie upstairs, and she hissed at us, which was attractive in an interesting way, but didn’t hit the spot. They were all adorable, but we hadn’t found the one. And then…they showed us Jeena.

It was automatic chemistry between us three. They had her in a cage because she couldn’t be with the other cats. She came out and instantly came on to my lap. I proceeded to pet her back and head, which she was very happy to accept, giving us the kitty-closed-eyes look of, “gimme more.” Heather said, "I think somebody's in love.” Heather could have been talking about all three of us. She's a major cuddler—one of our requirements!

Her personal story is quite sad but hopeful. She was found in a dumpster in a bag with toxic chemicals—she had 2nd and 3rd Degree burns. The Department of Animal Care & Control thought about putting her to sleep because she was in much suffering, especially with the burns, but they called Bideawee and asked them if they could treat her for the chemical burns. Bideawee said, Yes! The staff at the shelter saved and rehabilitated her, and they did a fine job. Distinctive white hair has grown in the scars she had. And she trusts people—she’s quite social with our species. It’s really amazing the work that the folks at Bideawee did. In any case, she's a Bombay mix; her birthdate is April ‘07, and her name “Jeena,” means Survivor in Hindi, which we find appropriate and cute, so we are letting her keep her name (as if we would have a choice!).

We brought her home last Thursday and she has taken to love our little apartment, but more than anything, she can’t get enough of our petting, just as we can’t get enough either. I’m satisfied to say that she’ll be included in my bio for my first book; I should have known there was a reason for the publishing delay.

This is the story of our cat-owning genesis. Heather and I are happy to report that the new word is Cat. Amen and Blessed be.

You licked my spoon

I tasted your fork

You fed me carrots and I got you some asparagus

We fit into our little kitchen

The skies outside our window let us see some blue

You read to me at night

The next morning, I woke you up for a quickie

We went back to sleep

We got up

Then I made you some ciabatta

While you made me a cappuccino

American songbook on the radio

And the sun decided it was time to wound its twilight

Good night, my dear

It’s Veteran’s Day and I’m glad I’m off. Many things to celebrate. No. 1, I am grateful for all our veterans who have sacrificed themselves so that others can live in peace. While war is a complex issue, sacrificing one’s self is, I find, truly admirable. I am in awe.

So, I am utilizing the day to scan pictures that I’ll use for my first published work. I’m finally going to publish my first book! I’m doing it Walt Whitman style, in the sense that I’m doing it on my own. No publishing company to spoil it – the ones I contacted didn’t want to do it, so I’m just going to go solo on this one. I have to tell you, I was a bit saddened when the publishing companies didn’t want to lend a hand, but now I feel better. I’m empowering myself. Well, now that I’m writing about this, I better put this book out there. It’s coming soon – I promise.

Photoshop here we come! I’m scanning at 400 dpi. It may seem small but Amazon requires 300 dpi. I’m scanning 100 more for me to keep higher-res copies, but I will use the 300 ones in the work, and since the pictures will be smaller size than what I’m scanning, all will show fine. Trust me.

While Photoshop does its processing, I’m doing this typing. It’s rather relaxing to do. Even if I have to break while a picture is done. At this point I’m almost doing a paragraph during each picture scan. Up, there goes another one.

Now it’s time to play with my 4x4x4 Rubik’s Cube.

Ok time to scan again…

11/11 make a wish I finish this soon!

My bartender, P-, at Jim Brady’s says the final is going to be Argentina versus Brazil. I say “my” only because I’ve become a regular at this fine Irish establishment that has 3 big flat screens displaying the World Cup, the object of my coming there. Of course, now I’ve formed bonds other than fútbol there: I’ve made amiable acquaintances with the owner, M-, a very courteous Irish gentleman, the bartenders and the wait-staff, who are all a delight.

During the second week of the group phase, when two games were shown at a time (presumably a good FIFA trick to increase excitement among the teams and dissuade them from second-guessing their chances for the next round and instead play!), I positioned myself strategically so that I would be able to see both games at the same time – there are a few spots where you can do that at Brady’s where you can see the two screens without too much neck twisting, just use your left eye for the right screen and right for the left (and old left/right brain trick).

Ah, maybe P- is right, about the final, but I can’t concede. Though I'm much dissuaded by my statement by what I saw from the Brazilian defense which was stronger than a concrete wall against Chile. The Rojas could not break that wall even if they had 20 Mack trucks and a demolisher. The giants are prevailing and no revenges have been settled. Brazil beat Chile as always. Ghana beat the US like in 2006. Argentina beat Mexico in the same phase, four years ago. Germany beat England the way it did in 1990 and other times; the story's a bit mixed in their encounters with the Germans more effective than the Anglo-Saxons. Will Germany beat Argentina this weekend in the Quarter-finals? I almost, almost doubt it, but who knows… What if Ghana triumphs over Uruguay and Brazil over the Netherlands in the Quarter-finals, such that the Five-time champion meets the last African nation left in the tournament at the Semis – would Ghana avenge it’s 2006 loss against A Seleção.

España sent Portugal packing home with a perseverant rebound goal by Villa, No. 7 of the team, who shone much better than his team-mate Torres, but, more remarkably than his Portuguese opponent with the same number, Ronaldo, so much for all his Nike “write the future” commercials. Portugal was great…against weak teams and not so great against strong ones: Facing Brazil, it was a disappointment, in fact, Brazil was disappointing to see when both Portuguese speaking nations fought in the field, playing safe instead of giving it all, which makes me wonder that maybe Brazil won’t be in the final, but who knows…

Drama, drama and art. Did you see how high the American goalie jumped in the Ghanan area in the last few minutes of the second extra time? The scene was so captivating that it reminded me what the Latino announcer in Univision said about another golden moment, “who says you can only see art in a museum – sometimes you can see such moments with a ball (of fútbol).” It was the last few minutes of the game and the Americans had secured a corner kick against Ghana. US Goalkeeper Tim Howard went over to the Ghanan section. He was going to head that ball if he could, right into the opponents. The assist came. Howard jumped. Kingson, the Ghanan, goalkeeper jumped. His arms were stretched so far in the air and he hit the ball, and by a few centimeters Howard almost hit it with his head. In other words, Howard jumped as high as his opponent’s arms stretched high above. It was a duel. Wouldn’t it have been amazing if he had hit it with his head?! Even so, it was amazing to see them jump so high. Such are real moments of beauty. Pelé was right, it is the beautiful game.

And why do some few people want to change it with “replays” and “reviews” and “challenges”, “use of technology”, and blah blah? Have we had referee error here? Yes and we’ve had it at every other Cup. Who says life is fair? Who says soccer has to be either? Put in “replays”, “reviews”, “challenges” then it’s no longer soccer/football/fútbol/futebol. You might as well divide the darn thing in 4 quarters, put in time-outs and take the magic out of the game. Not a good enough excuse. The fact that there is human error is a strength, not a weakness. Imagine that, accepting human error. In sports! What a concept!

I root for the Underdogs: Paraguay celebrated the first time they’ve gone to the Quarter Finals. Good for them, bad for the Japanese, whom they beat. But, there’s always a next time. Slovakia couldn’t defeat the Netherlands but they defeated Italy, the defending champs, just to show you that anything is possible in fútbol. The US showed it too, England surely felt that tie sting; unfortunately, they would wake up in the second half of games and that eventually caught up to them against another Underdog, Ghana. Don’t forget Mexico crushing France—that was classic too. The secret to winning does have something to do with what team demonstrates its winning desire out in the field. Of course, there’s always that bad luck that the Spaniards had against Switzerland, but the Swiss are gone and Spain’s still in, and the Spanish can smile and thank Honduras because the tiny Central American nation tied the strong tri-lingual Swiss, thereby denying them the 3 points to challenge the Iberian peninsula’s biggest country. Go Underdogs! Go! Locals do have a place in my heart too. Most of all, though, I root for the game itself.

I wish I would have entered a pool like the folks at Jim Brady’s did, well, all their staff really, and I think they let a few locals in it, but they had been seeing the games there since they started. I was away that first week in Lake Tahoe, with my esteemed gringo family, who I am happy to report became my comrades by enjoying and watching the games with me in the mornings of Pacific Coast Time. Thank God(s) for satellite TV when there’s no Univision. The tournament will be in Brazil in four years and the time zone won’t be the tricky issue it has been for the past 3 Cups, including this one. I remember waking up at 6am for some of the Korea/Japan games in 2002, including the Final! And I did get up at 4am to watch the great Paraguay v. Slovakia game this time around, but of course, we were leaving to the airport at 6am that day and what’s wrong with waking up a little earlier, a most convenient excuse…Though, I have to say, there is something specially comforting in going out for a late lunch at Jim Brady’s to watch these games, during the work-days.

Maybe once the final comes, I’ll bet who wins with my Irish bartender and stick to my guns, the way I did in 1998, when I bet my Portuguese barber that France would upset all odds by beating Brazil. My prize was getting a free haircut, which I relished that summer. P- can’t cut hair but he can make drinks. Hmmmm.

¡¡Gooool!!

Pre-empting the senseless bitching that’s going to come in the next few weeks, I thought I’d muse on how special the Fourteenth of February is. I like V-Day. I love celebrating it. I don’t care if businesses commercialize it. I say good for retailers and store-owners. They get to sell; they get to move our economy. For coupled folks, it gives them another* special day to celebrate their zest for one another. For the single people, it gives them a chance to find someone. Heather would not have found me if she didn’t look at the Pen-pal personals on one V-Day night, 1999. If I were in the party business, I’d make a special singles only event that day. There is no reason to feel like a loser this day. And, if romantic love’s not your thing, then treat it as a day you can appreciate your friends. I love seeing the lines of people forming at chocolatiers and flower stores. It means they’re going to treat their special person. And, just for a moment, we are all in a cadence together: A ritual! And I don’t only love people buying things for others. I also love it when people get creative about their offerings, like when my wife made me a heart-shaped raspberry cheese-cake on V-Day 2004. You don’t need to get the same dozen red roses, teddy bears and chocolates…though my wife would never say no to chocolates…and I don’t know about teddy bears, but they are cute for the innocent-minded and if that makes them happy, so be it! To the sordid ones who want to get rid of this holiday, I say, how would this help our society? Should we also get rid of other holidays, like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, New Year’s Eve…? Holidays are what you make of them. If commercialization is your problem, then don’t shop and start making something, like a poem, a song, a game, a cake, or hug the person you’ve always wanted and dress kinky. If you feel societal pressure, you’re feeling in the wrong direction! If you’re pre-occupied with historical interpretations of the holiday, then make up your own happy story (or tragic, if you prefer), but don’t go messing it up for all of us who want to have a good time!

* I say “another” because you should try to celebrate your loved one at least every other day, for why else call them “loved” ones.

Believe it or not, it was the appeal of going to Salt Lake City, Utah, that made me desire to attend my very first General Assembly (G.A.). I get to shoot two birds with one stone I said to folks who asked me “Why Salt Lake City?”, “Why G.A?”. In obscene shorthand, the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations General Assembly is the big Pow Wow of all Unitarian Universalist (UU) congregations – I would not call it our Mecca trip, though I almost think it ought to be. Most UU churches send members, called delegates, who gather together each year at different locations throughout the United States for a four day meeting (by the way, this trip is not paid for by the churches, though some assist somewhat, for instance by paying for the registration fees—mostly, though, the members pay for their stay and travel). They usually hold these gatherings in cities that have ample convention centers and where the rent is affordable; such a place was Salt Lake City, hosting G.A. from June 24th to 28th this year, and such a place will be Minneapolis in June 2010.

I admit Salt Lake City was an attraction for its Mormon history, but it was also a place I had not been to. The wise say you ought to visit a new place you’ve never been to each year to enrich yourself, for travel is a better education than any Ph.D. any day, and I don’t really admit any apologies for my overly educated Brahman. 

In any case, I found Salt Lake City to be rich. It is a booming town. You can tell because of all its construction cranes. Investors put money in building because they know it’s a good investment. Though, our taxi driver from India, on our way to the airport did tell us that the hotels were empty – blame the economy. The truth is Salt Lake is happening. And I don’t say that just because it has ample nightlife, though don’t go try to go out to a restaurant on a Sunday night – most restaurants close by 7pm that day and 10pm all other days, with some exceptions, but hey, mass transit is free in the very center of the city and the cable cars are very clean as are the sidewalks. The LDS Church will build a business school too. The Mormon complex is something you have to see. It is something to admire. I admire the Mormons. Their evangelical tenacity. Their love for architecture and beautiful things. Their nice-ness. Heather and I took a tour of their grounds at Temple Square. I simply adore their open-ness to show you their way, their system of belief and thought. I felt like they were Unitarian Universalists, with a different theology and dress, more money and much more evangelism.

So…the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations General Assembly (UUA G.A.), what I started writing about:

I had no idea how big we are. I had no practical idea how small we are. It didn’t occur to me how spread we were; we are really all over this mosaic called the United States and Africa too (!). Hearing numbers at your local congregation, ratios, percentages is not the same as seeing them live, as hearing them talk and speak their minds and cause controversy, shake up your upper middle class status.

Our denomination is small and diverse. It is also large and not diverse. It is complex and at a critical time it is the most powerful answer to the changing world we live in. We have great opportunity and we are finding it hard to grasp it. Perhaps we are focusing on the lack. Perhaps this is a good thing, for how boring to find we were on top – a challenge is more welcome.

Our “movement,” which is not a good term, by the way, for movements come and go, but the truth is Unitarian Universalism is here to stay and develop however we want it to be. It is a religion – a lot of us better get used to that if we are to make it big or at all.

I perhaps digress, but the truth is we focused on those issues more than you can imagine. Although I had felt that at All Souls in New York City, which is an anomaly by the way, the congregation I attend religiously, I was not aware of the urgency, to put it mildly.

I guess when you hear the numbers and when you see the evidence, then you might get it too. Here are three interesting statistics I learned at G.A.:
* No more than point three percent of the United States population (0.3%) declares itself as Unitarian Universalist.
* Our congregations have less than 9% of people who consider themselves as people of color. 
* Across the board, our percentage of monetary giving is about one to two percent (1-2%) a person. Monetary giving, what is sometimes called “stewardship” – one percent (!). Sad.

Clearly we are missing a ton of vibrancy.

Let me step back a bit on the great things that we have done, for we are a quintessential American faith, and let me be humble as I say truths:

The Universalists, as early as the 1800s, were some of the first supporters of non-sectarian schools, and they also worked on social issues including the separation of church and state, prison reform, capital punishment, the abolition of slavery, and women's rights – this was before it was the acceptable norm to follow. In 1863 the Universalists became the first group in the United States to ordain a woman with full denominational authority.

But let us not forget our Unitarian brethren too: They spoke out on issues such as peace, education reform, prison reform, orphanages, capital punishment, moderation in temperance, ministry to the poor, and the abolition of slavery (also in the 1800s). When both the Unitarians and the Universalists merged, they continued to strive forth in the direction of social justice. We are Jesus embodied. Why do you think I, a former Catholic, feel closer to Jesus of Nazareth now as a UU than when I was being confirmed by a priest – the parallels of UU and Jesus are really striking, when you think that Jesus wasn’t trying to conform people to a religion and how UUs don’t want to convert you and just do the right thing. Well, my friends, the times have changed and I believe the message needs be spreading:

Our newest campaign is Standing on the Side of Love. We do that for immigrants who search for a better life, for gay and lesbians who desire marriage, for atheists who are unaccepted, for Catholics who do not believe in hell, for Jews who also believe in the Goddess, for our Earth plagued with our pollution, for all oppressed people... But we are not some foolish people. We are a religion. Until we realize that, we might always be a margin of .3%.

While at G.A., we stood on the side of Love on Friday, June 26, 2009, as we organized an interfaith rally in support of immigrant families – the Salt Lake City Tribune was happy to report it. In fact, we were supporting the immigrant wife of a US citizen, member of the Church of Latter Day Saints. At our rally of over 1000, he told the crowd of the ploy the police used to get into his house and forcefully arrest her. The police agents used a trick of wanting his wife to identify a woman in a picture, but they arrested her instead, handcuffed and shackled, treated inhumanely. See, there is a law in Utah that authorizes police agents to become Ice agents, which means that the police can arrest and detain people based on suspicion of immigration violations, and the treatment they inflict on these people is sadistic and unkind. To show you that we UUs are really changing our ways, we held this as an interfaith rally, having had speakers from the Catholic and Episcopalian denominations and let us not forget that it was a Mormon family we were supporting. This was UUs in action. This is what we do.

Had I not gone to G.A., I would not have learned about the Standing on the Side of Love campaign. It was proposed by our very own Bill Sinkford, who just ended his term as president of the UUA. I would not have learned about it because our church of All Souls is, I’m afraid, isolated in some ways from the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations, the UUA. In my cynical view, I wondered why we were there, for what is it that we really bring back to a congregation who is not as involved in denominational affairs as it should be.

Had I not gone to G.A., I would not have felt a certain power of Love. It definitely is affirming to be with so many UUs and from all over the country. We are not alone. If I were to move outside of New York City, I could easily find a church; granted, I would miss All Souls, but life would go on at another UU church, and for that I am not only proud, but relieved.

I tell you what indeed gave me a rock star feeling: When I held the banner. I know it can be classified as rather cheesy, but I was a rock star! Let me explain. Aside from orientation, the first main event is the Banner Parade. This is the event where each congregation is represented by a banner at the main hall where all the three thousand G.A. attendees have gathered. Of the two members of a church walking together, one carries the congregation’s banner. It is the notorious nature of delegates to assign this job to the newbie. Since this was my first time at G.A., I was the one holding the thing, which is really not heavy at all. It used to be a job not many loved because you would miss most of the service entailing the parade, but the way it’s handled now, as far as I hear and experienced, is that any speeches are held until all banners have marched and there is time for them to sit back down and enjoy the service that comes about when the last of the banner marchers has marched. There’s a certain evangelism that goes along with displaying one’s congregation.

Bill Sinkford was the first minister who taught me about true-evangelism. He said we need to spread our message because it will help people. We cannot be too egotistical in thinking this is a good thing only for us. We need to help others; we cannot simply see this as a quest of numbers.

And Rev. Sinkford was munificent once again as he gave his words on Compassionate Witness titled “Truth and Reconciliation”, but it was the homily of Angela Herrara, a ministerial candidate and student at Harvard Divinity School, whose ministerial poetry remain in my mind. She started with the words from the poet Antonio Machado, “Caminante, no hay camino. Se hace camino al andar.” “Traveler, there is no road. One makes the path by walking.” She made a metaphor of her early life, having been raised as UU child, thinking that “what set her faith apart was that you could believe in whatever you want…that you don’t have to believe anything.” And as she grew up, so did her faith. When it came time to fend for her own and “other’s inherent worth and dignity let me to realize it’s not true that you don’t have to believe anything.” She said, “We’re not preaching the gospel of disbelief. We are a community of believers. And what we ask you to believe is that you are already holy.” But it’s not that easy, as she affirms:

[For] to believe you are already holy takes courage. It raises the bar. To be holy no matter who you are is to subvert traditional expectations—low expectations—and it calls you to something higher, better. This kind of faith wants not just to soothe the troubled spirit; it seeks to restore wholeness to what is continually broken. Relationships—the interdependent web. They are broken by human brokenness. By alienation, fear and systems of oppression so pervasive they can only be called evil. This is hard work. It’s big work for an imperfect, holy people.

She really spoke right on to what I have felt each time some of our members (myself included) say as we invite others to our faith. How dare we tell newcomers that they don’t have to believe in anything should they join our faith? Can we possibly look ourselves in the mirror and say we don’t have to believe anything as UUs? There is no excuse. You bet we accept the free and responsible search for truth and meaning, and for the fourth principle to be achieved as we know it, we must believe. I thank Ms. Herrara for preaching these words.

Let us step into some other magick moments:

G.A. was not just about worship services. There were also official business to take place. Issues of Governance are important. Our faith is most democratic, perhaps the most democratic procedural of all. We govern our congregations pluralistically. And so, to agree on what is to bind us together requires dialogue with ourselves. We conduct these exercises in the Plenaries. I had to look at what plenary meant in the online versions of several dictionaries. The crux of the word means “full” “complete” “what is required” “important” “attended by all qualified members” “pertinent for all to attend”. And it was important to attend and just being UUs is qualified, but you need to be a delegate in order for you to vote and churches are assigned numbers of delegates based on their membership numbers. How pertinent is it to attend these Plenaries? Very! For we decided whether we should change Article II of our bylaws, what language to use, even changing a word in the 7 principles, the stuff that we all UUs stand by. How could it not be pertinent to attend and cast your vote? This faith gives you a firm responsibility: The search and responsible quest of truth and meaning. This is live democracy in your religious faith. Why wasn’t I told about this at All Souls…my pet peeve, as you may have guessed, why aren’t we as a congregation informed enough; my voice repeats, why are we not involved in denominational affairs as we should, for this really impacts us all UUs (?!?).

Ok, but who makes this process fun? The Moderator. And her name is Gini Courter. She is the Lady of the Hour who makes Plenary happen. She stands at the microphone on the center stage of this conference room where at least two thousand people fit. She is there recognizing people at the Pro, the Con, the Procedure microphones. She is there to communicate which item is next to be voted on and debated. And to top it off, she’s entertaining. UUs make the democratic process really fun. T’is no wonder Gini’s a public figure with her own Facebook fan page. Naturally, I invite you to become her fan, and then you can friend me, or friend me first!

G.A. is also a place where music is felt under your skin. One thing we UUs do well is creating music. Because our faith is cosmopolitan, our tunes are so versatile. Yes, I do love Walter Krauss’ classical repertoire at All Souls, but I wholeheartedly say it was refreshing to hear world rhythms from Africa, Spanish songs—that is songs sung in Spanish, Hungarian cantatas, New-World, Folk, Gospel, Rock, you name it music. We need that diversity. I thought, gee, why don’t we have the Teal Hymnal Supplement at All Souls again??? I must speak to Wally. And Galen. But, as Jim Moskin said, firstly to Ann Gorycki, for she knows where the money’s to be found, if that’s the real issue…or is it…? I wonder. I think Music is really the language of diversity and of the soul. Love is its embodiment, no doubt, but if there’s a life after this, Music has got to be in there. I’m thanking John Hubert & Matt Meyer, who introduced such an eclectic and comforting repertoire of musical innovation to our souls at G.A.

Speaking of Diversity, that is G.A.! A diverse-full of folks! They come from all walks of life. But, as you may have heard in the earlier paragraphs of this reflection, our denomination is tiny when it comes to diversity of folks who are not Middle-Class Euro-American Caucasians. That is true. Being in this group, I am an anomaly, but not so at the same time: I, a Latino who passes as White without even trying, because of his seemingly fair and fawn skin, his Master’s Degree, his Caucasian wife, his white collar job, his former immigrant status, now being a privileged citizen of the United States…ah, but I still got an accent, and yet, no one can tell where it’s from, so I’m an exotic and so, there goes me being a representative of what is deemed “people of color”; I’m just a delicacy... I guess I’m a poor example of this. Or am I? I am still Latin American. Some call me Latino or Hispanic. That isn’t terrible; Latino sounds better, later 90s terminology. Hispanic sounds early 90s. But: Don’t you dare call me “Spanish”! O te mato con palabras…

Still, people perceive my diversity and that is good and because the good also has the bad, there are the awkward moments. In fact that is the problem, and I don’t say that for UU circles, but for all the sake of being welcoming in any situation or place; the real issue is awkwardness, not racism, for me, not that I’m denying there is ethnocentrism, racism, culturalism, classism, accentism, many-other-isms, but that with respect to our world (and faith), we are so awkward when it comes to communicating to a person of color. I yearn for a time when I won’t be assumed to be voting for a candidate called Morales because I am Latino (yes, this incident did happen at G.A.). I don’t think people are really racist in the way of wanting to do harm to the “other” at our denomination; we are just awkward and behave that way. In fact, I want to get rid of the anti-oppression jargon that exists in the Multicultural speak. It’s awkwardness that defeats the majority and the minority. Instead of respectfully asking questions that spark our interest for the sake of us understanding differences, we end up making asses of ourselves with assumptive language and our intent is not malicious, but the person of color ends up perceiving it as an awkward mess because it is dumb and awkward. Without blame and with reason, the person of color will think “why go to such a church if they can’t handle that I’m different…” It’s not at all that the upper middle class white UU is really racist or means harm; it’s that some of our brethren act as assumptive, and not all I remind you, it’s some. In this regard, I say to those who have fallen into the awkward trap: It is far better to ask, “What did you think of the candidates?” instead of saying to a Latino/Hispanic/Latin-American, “I assume you voted for Morales, I cannot see you vote for Laurel” Imagine how it would sound had I said that to an African American or White American at the time of the US presidential elections last year – between McCain and Obama, to a White, “oh of course you’re voting for McCain” because he’s white? Think about this. – this is what I’m talking about. Controversy. But it’s 2009 and it happened to me. And why cannot it happen anywhere else in your local congregation or city?

Well, on the second day of G.A. the Reverend Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed gave us most impressive lessons to be learned about how to deal with our diversity problem. His powerful conclusion can be summed up in four parts:

1) “Lecturing and controlling is not the way. Guilt deals cruelly with vision. Trepidation encourages timidity.” Speaks to my awkward reference; don’t blame the majority, but don’t tell people what to do either (from either perspective).
2) Be honest about who we are. “We are an ethnic faith.”
3) "Appreciate the diversity we have achieved.” Women and LGBT people are well represented in our ministry.
4) Accept that we are caught in a conundrum. “We don’t really want to change.” We yearn for stability, so we find comfort. We don’t want too much change. We yearn to be whole, but change equals discomfort. We need to see change as an open and adventuresome undertaking. We need to recapture the excitement of our forebears. And, accept that change is going to come, whether we like it or not. 

And change has come to the UUA again:

I alluded to Morales and I was not making him up. His name is Peter Morales and he won the election, becoming the first Latino president of the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations (why not say it fully; must we always use acronyms? UUA? Be proud of who you are. Great names are supposed to be challenging, mine is Victor Fidel. The name of our faith is Unitarian Universalist; though many a times I could go for Universalist Unitarian…). We voted at G.A. in this historic election. 

For this presidential contest, we had two formidable individuals. Laurel Hallman and Peter Morales. For me, it was not hard to choose after hearing their speeches and debates. But I can understand how it was for others. These were fantastic speakers and had visions, and their intent was not different. I mean this was not like McCain versus Obama, nor was it Obama versus Hillary. Both candidates had positions comparable to the values of all us UUs. It had to do with whose vision you supported. Morales was instrumental in communicating clarity and urgency. Laurel had passion of eloquence. Both were fantastic. Morales’ sense of urgency for our faith won. His clarity of aspirations will take us to where our desires exist, if we all work for it so. One thing I appreciate about him is the way he presents himself. At the Candidates Forum, he was not reading a script he wrote: He was reciting it. Yes, I am sure he memorized it and that feels better than somebody reading to you (not that I don’t appreciate the sermons that all my ministers preach to us – they also read them and in ways we don’t think we’re reading them, and as I said, Morales had to have memorized his speech and he was natural at it). He was looking at us as he spoke. But that isn’t everything; it’s pin-pointing the four areas that UUs need to work on that made it most palpable for me to vote for him, and this is my blog, so I can come out and say who I voted for. He said we need to work on:

1) Our low numbers. We must be the moral equivalent of feeding the religious and spiritual hungry.
2) Disciplined management of the UUA. We need to do more with less. Our numbers being low, so is our budget; therefore we need more efficiency.
3) Build on Sinkford’s Public Witness. We need to lift Unitarian Universalism into the public square. Standing on the Side of Love is the start. UU must be a major player on the public stage, a major moral voice.
4) Unitarian Universalism must speak to the new America we face, which is multicultural, multigenerational and complex. This is serious work for us, lacking in diversity. 

He really got me convinced that he will work so that Unitarian Universalist will be the religion for our time. He affirmed that religion is more about what we love than think. This may strike some UUs because we are used to being haute thought. We have broad appeal religiously but our relational ties need honing. I welcome his challenge and charge. In addition, I would like to propose what Reverend Abhi Janamanchi told us in the Sunday morning worship, that “we are boldly going where no faith has gone before.”

I think, in order to do those things, we need to look to ourselves and understand our past and present, reconcile our differences. We need to value the past we’ve had. Most of us come from other religions. We need to deal with that before we can engage the in any community outside our own. I got to hear ways on how to do that at G.A.: One of our distinguished members who is deeply involved in the Unitarian Universalist United Nations Office, Marilyn Mehr, led a moving address titled “Lessons of a Mormon Childhood – LDS to UU-UNO.” She was raised Mormon in Utah and later in life became a Unitarian Universalist. While she is happy to have found a religious and spiritual home in our faith, she learned many important lessons from her childhood. She said three of them are:

1) “Value being different” – having been Mormon, she had to deal with prejudices from other religions. We UUs should value our differences and be proud to defend them, but love our community in the process.  
2) “Importance of Community. We must have commitment to each others existence.” Let us wholly support our interdependent web that binds us together. 
3) “Importance of Families.” We ought to not forget our brothers and sisters from other religions and interchange in more dialogue.

I will add my personal 4th lesson to all you UUs: We need Tithing! As I stated earlier, we UUs give about 1 to 2% of our income to church. That is obscenely piddly and simply unacceptable. If we want our faith to grow in different ways and do the justice work we aim to fulfill, we cannot do it on pennies. Maybe 10% is too much: Don’t worry, then you can do 5%. That’ll at least more than double our resources. Don’t tell me that you are young and cannot afford it. Yes you can! Yes we can! The youth, especially, must feed the church, for they shall inherit this great faith. What would they like to see in the future? The future is now. It will be far wiser for us young adults to skip on that occasional Sunday brunch and give that money to the place that nourishes our soul and feeds our spirit, for our churches are of this Earth and have bills to pay – I not only speak for an expensive lot on the most expensive zip code in the world, the Upper East Side of New York City, where All Souls is, but also all over the regional spectrum.

Ah, what else can I say, General Assembly shook me, but it also comforted me. G.A. affirmed my spirituality and religion with inspiration. I am proud to be a Unitarian Universalist, and I am grateful for what it means to be of this faith.

MIX I: INTRO
(People came down to Reidy Hall, the reception hall from the Sanctuary, the music stopped when we walked into the hall and Yennie, my sister (also the EMCEE), announced us and starts toast) Not all of this music will be played, it's understood, just gave a cushion because I'm about emergencies…in fact all of it got played since we took longer coming from the ceremony after taking some pictures and signing the wedding license. This is a combination of American Songbook, Jazz, Latin Instrumentals and a Little Reggae.

To download some of the songs of Mix I, go to: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=318381714

MIX II: AMAZED
(This mix started after the Final Toast, given by Heather's Dad, Peter.  It began with Heather & I dancing our song, Lonestar’s “Amazed")

To download some of the songs of Mix II, go to: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=318382651

MIX III: DANZIN HITZ 
(It’s dance music, there’s nothing else to say or do but get up on the dance floor and shake your groove thang… and you cannot excuse yourself, for almost any genre is represented, from Hip-Hop to Disco & Latin, Rock to Pop, Reggae, Sexy Classic Soul & Rhythm & Blues)

To download some of the songs of Mix III, go to: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=318383125

* * * * * * * * * * * * *      Cake Time. Music stopped.    * * * * * * * * * * * * 
The tunes restarted after Heather & I fed each other the ceremonial piece of cake.

MIX 3.5: SINGLE LADIES (Dancing went on, but at the beginning of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" song, Heather got in position, danced, and in the song’s crescendo threw the bouquet for the luckiest or aggressive-est Single Lady to catch, in our case it was my Mama.)

To download some of the songs of Mix 3.5, go to: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=318383673

MIX 4: THE END
The end is a compilation of fun tunes from different eras of the popular persuasion that are fun to dance to or just listen. It was important to have Billy Idol’s “White Wedding” in there; I’ve always wished a wedding to have that song and never really remembered any in the dozen weddings I’ve been to, so when the opportunity presented itself when I was the DJ & bona fide groom, I made sure to add it.

To download some of the songs of Mix 4, go to: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=318384343

Big Credit goes to Rubin Nizri, without whom the sound would not have been possible. He made sure we had the A/V correctly and he was the one who had the most important job: Turning the Music On! You’ll also find Rubin in Mix II: Amazed, he being the artist of song 18, “Only You”.

Believe me, I wanted to add more music, and while we could have chopped some tunes in half, I prefer to listen to the songs in their whole, so time only afforded us as much and for that we were very thankful.

Let me know what you think of the tunes and composition of the mezcla. I love talking about…music! But…I love more to mix and listen to it :) What is it about music mixing that’s special? It’s expression, an art and and a science. Being pannish and free, I am attached to earthly pleasures and surely it will be a pain to leave them at death and maybe we’ll have them in the other life too, and that’s just if who knows, but the one thing the other life after this one must have is music, for that is the food of my love!